That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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