you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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