Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
