@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
