maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
