I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
