so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
