my sisters under your porch take her home
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
