Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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