people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
