He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
