This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
When are your genitals available?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize