Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...

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(925): View more from California

im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

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(419): View more from Ohio

this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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(847): View more from Illinois

We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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(574): View more from Indiana

I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.

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(303): View more from Colorado

you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

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(850): View more from Florida

I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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(613): View more from Ontario

You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

That was super inconsiderate of me

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