THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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