today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
