I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i barfeds in our rink
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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