suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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