cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
