Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
