I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
