how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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