I'm lost and stupid without you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize