im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Everything about him screamed your future.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
