Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
