I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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