Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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