gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize