Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
