Who did Billy Mays play for?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
