I wish life had little blips of pornography
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
