Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
