he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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