You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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