So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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