Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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