Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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