If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
