he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
