Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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