Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
