My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
