I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
