party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
