do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
