I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
