He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
