You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I need help removing her.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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