My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
