Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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