I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
