i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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