i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
