We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
