Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize