Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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