i barfeds in our rink
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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