Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
