Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
