Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
only you would photoshop your dick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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