She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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