Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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