Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
