It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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