well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I deserve this hangover.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
