The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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