the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am one with the molecules
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
