just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
