so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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