I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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