The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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