R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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