I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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