i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
