She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
