i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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