WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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