We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
