There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
