yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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