i love accidental penises.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
