Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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