Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize