first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
pray to the hookup gods
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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