It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
