This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize