Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
